Marlene Bagnull: How To Go Far Despite Self-Doubt

Everyone's Story welcomes Marlene Bagnull: author, Christian writers conference founder and director, wife, mom, grandmom, and one of the nicest and most giving woman I've been blessed to meet. Each time I attended the Greater Philly Christian Writers Conference I returned home not only inspired to write more, and to glorify God with my writing, but I'd left feeling spiritually at peace. Like the uplifting prayers, stories, and praises that are shared at these conferences, I know Marlene's personal story below will encourage many. Please leave a comment for Marlene. She and I both look forward to hearing from you. Also, check out her BookGiveaway that will help to motivate and guide you in your writing.

Book Giveaway:
Marlene is offering one copy of her powerfully helpful, non-fiction WRITE HIS ANSWER to one randomly chosen commenter. The winner will be announced here on Friday, April 11th, between 5-6 PM EST. For convenience, please leave your contact information within your comment. Thanks!

Only God . . . by Marlene Bagnull

If anyone had told me when I was growing up that one day I would have a writing and speaking ministry, I would have said, “A loving God would never do that to me!”

I hated English in high school, and I was terrified of the public speaking class we were required to take. Still, I couldn’t shake the call I felt to full-time Christian service. After reading the entire New Testament in King James English, I searched the shelves of my local library for Christian novels. Back then they were scarce. I devoured The Robe and read Taylor Caldwell’s Tender Victory at least five times, never dreaming that one day I would write words that others would read.

The more real Jesus became to me, the more I longed to share Him with others. But how? Where? Certainly not in the halls of my high school. I read about the exploits of missionary evangelists. Yes! That’s what I would become. I would go to a remote jungle and  boldly preach the gospel. It obviously didn’t connect that I’d have to speak!

I knew I’d need a college education. Hopefully it would help me overcome my huge inferiority complex. My parents did not support my decision. “What makes you think you’re college material?” they scoffed. Evidently the people in the admissions office of my top choice colleges agreed. Finally, a little Bible college down south accepted me.

Meanwhile, I had fallen in love with a sailor. When he broke up with me, I was devastated. “Okay, God,” I sighed. “This must be confirmation that you do want me to go to college unless – unless You bring Paul back into my life.” He did! And I said yes when Paul asked me to marry him over fifty years ago.

I’ve never regretted my decision or ceased to be amazed at the way God has worked out His plans for my life despite my self-doubts. For years I felt ashamed that I was only a high school graduate. I questioned how He could use me. It was easy to believe the lies of the evil one that I was not smart enough or good enough.

Still the call to ministry never went away. Ever so slowly I began to believe God’s promises and to step out in faith to do things I was not qualified to do. I clung to the words of the apostle Paul. “When I am weak, then I am strong – the less I have, the more I depend on him” (2 Cor. 12:10 TLB).

Today, I’ve made over 1,000 sales to Christian periodicals and published nine books including Write His Answer–-A Bible Study for Christian Writers that has been in print for twenty-four years. I’ve watched the Lord expand my ministry of writing and speaking, in Ephesians 3:20 ways.

Thirty-one years ago He led me to begin the Greater Philadelphia Christian Writers Fellowship. He didn’t tell me that this ministry would grow into a three and a half day conference or that fourteen years later He would call me to direct the Colorado Christian Writers Conference. I’m sure I would have run the other way! After all, I wasn’t qualified. I’m still not. But I’m learning that “I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power” (Phil. 4:13 TLB).

What is holding you back from becoming all God is calling you to be and to do?

Marlene's Ah-hahs To Tweet:

Everyone’s Story: Meet Marlene Bagnull, author & Christian writers conference director. (Tweet This)

Everyone has a story: how Marlene Bagnull overcame inferiority complex to achieve her goals. (Tweet This)

Marlene Bagnull: what is holding you back from success? #BookGiveaway (Tweet This)

Author's Bio:

Marlene Bagnull is the author of five books including Write His Answer: A Bible Study for Christian Writers and the compiler/editor of four other books. She also has made over 1,000 sales to Christian periodicals. Marlene has given her Write His Answer and Get Your Book in Print seminars over 50 times around the nation in addition to serving on the faculty of over 75 Christian writers’ conferences. She teaches At-Home Writing Workshops, freelance edits, leads two critique groups that meet in her home, and helps Christians publish affordably and professionally through Ampelos Press. She has directed the Colorado Christian Writers Conference since 1997 and the Greater Philly Christian Writers Conference, which she founded, since 1983. In 1999 she received an honorary Doctor of Letters. All she could say was, "Wow! Only God could take someone who felt as inadequate as I did (and often still do) and make all this happen.”

Places to connect with Marlene:

Write His Answer

Write His Answer Blog

Colorado Write His Answer

Philadelphia Write His Answer

Facebook

Rachel Phifer: Why We're All Special

Everyone's Story welcomes Rachel Phifer as its guest this week. When I first met Rachel at an ACFW conference I was awed at her sereneness considering the excited atmosphere. This week she shares with us a continued sense of peace when she poses the question of whether each one of us are special and why. I've read her piece several times and always finish it with a warmth of acceptance, which I believe we all crave. I'd like to know what you think after reading Rachel's words. Rachel is offering a BookGiveaway of her novel THE LANGUAGE OF SPARROWS, which you can check out an excerpt from below. Rachel and I look forward to hearing from you.

Book Giveaway:
Rachel is offering one copy of THE LANGUAGE OF SPARROWS to one randomly chosen commenter. The winner will be announced here on Friday, April 4th, between 5-6 PM EST. For convenience, please leave your contact information within your comment. Thanks!

Excerpt from THE LANGUAGE OF SPARROWS:

THE LANGUAGE OF SPARROWS by Rachel Phifer

April knew she’d find her daughter close to home. That’s why she didn’t search the streets of Houston when the school called this time. And as expected, she found Sierra sitting in the apartment courtyard with her back against the willow tree. Oblivious to the cars speeding by and the crowded apartments surrounding her, she wrote in a notebook with utter concentration.

It wasn’t until Sierra noticed her blocking the light that she glanced up. They looked at each other for what seemed like a long minute before Sierra spoke. “I couldn’t stay there, Mom.”

As she lifted her face to the sun, it took on a quality that didn’t belong on a fifteen-year-old. April lowered herself to Sierra’s level, taking a moment to balance on her pumps. “You couldn’t stay in school because …?”

Sierra sent her a pleading look.

“Sierra,” April insisted.

“It’s not like my old school. There aren’t any windows in most of my classrooms. It’s so dark.”

There it was—the best explanation her daughter could offer for skipping school. Again. Sierra, with her knowledge of languages. But she never could seem to find the words she needed most.

As they talked, Sierra’s hand kept moving across the notebook in her lap. Writing by touch and not by sight, she guided the pen right and then left, then down. Every now and then she’d stop to hem a section of her strange script in black boxes.

“Baby, you’ve got to talk to me eventually.”

“I am talking to you.” But Sierra looked into the distance, tracking the movements of a cat, a blur of white that leaped from balcony to balcony. And her pen still moved.

April tried not to hate the symbols on Sierra’s page—Hebrew, Greek, an occasional column of hieroglyphs. Pages of archaic languages were absorbing more and more of her time. The girl had filled reams of paper with ancient words since they’d moved.

April sighed. Only on the news did people disappear in an instant. One minute a girl was walking to her bus stop. The next she was gone. Cable stations broadcast the missing child’s photo nationwide. Crews searched the woods. Everyone mourned when a child disappeared in a flash.

Not so the slow disappearances. No one called a press conference when Sierra’s grades began plummeting, when she dropped each of her friends one by one or refused to make new friends when they moved to Houston. The alarms on the school doors didn’t go off when she left in the middle of the day. The policeman at the front entrance didn’t even notice her leaving.

Only a computerized phone call alerted April to Sierra’s skipping classes at all.

There was no need to make threats or offer encouraging words. April had tried them all since they moved here last January. And Sierra was smart enough to understand the risks of skipping school—the danger of the streets where they lived, the potential failure to graduate, trouble with the police.

Instead of the old standbys, April looked through Sierra’s letters until she found a familiar one—a hieroglyph in the shape of an eye. “I see you, baby.”

That caught Sierra’s attention. She looked directly at April and blinked.

The school might not notice Sierra’s disappearing act. Maybe friends were nonexistent. Sometimes it seemed that God Himself had found someone more newsworthy to save. But it was impossible to disappear with a witness.

April underlined the hieroglyph with her index finger. “You are not invisible. I would have seen you walking past me if I’d been at the school. I see you, Sierra. Okay?”

When God Calls Us By Name by Rachel Phifer

Sometimes it’s dramatic. It comes in a blinding flash of light, and God asks you to give up everything you’ve known. Sell your possessions. Go to China. Know that He is God. And know nothing else. Your life looks like it belongs in the Book of Acts.

Truth be told, we don’t see enough of that. My life certainly has never looked like it belonged among Peter and Paul’s stories, and it’s probably due to my own lack of faith.

And yet, so often, when God calls your name, it’s a quiet whisper. He delivers a simple reminder that He knit you together. He made you for a purpose. It may be a quiet purpose, but it fits you like a glove.

Recently I had the opportunity to take a tour of a research lab where DNA gets modified. There were little petri dishes with microscopic cells floating in them. With the injection of a single new gene, healthy cells became cancerous or cancer cells became healthy.

The lab manager showed us a DNA construct with the letters identifying it. Since we were all non-scientists, she explained it in simple terms. “My name is Samar. My name tells who I am. But suppose, we change a letter of my name. Suppose I take out the “r” and replace it with a “t.” Samat does not have the same identity as Samar. Samat behaves differently than Samar.”

Courtesy Google Images

And I couldn’t help but think of the special name God has given us in the Book of Life. Perhaps it will even look similar to the name we already knew – encoded in it might be the same talents, the same appearance, more or less the same personality, the same history. But when we turn to Him for our identity, He alters our DNA by a smidge or by a yard, and we find there’s a brimming-over of life, which we didn’t have before. We are redeemed to be everything He created us to be.

Last week I picked up writing after weeks of not being able to get to it. And I hate to say it. It sounds too lofty. But with each word I typed, each phrase I edited, I felt God’s whisper. This is who you are. This is how I made you. Why have you stayed away? I have something for you to do here. I can meet you here.

What is it for you that brings God’s whisper –I breathed this joy into you when I breathed life into you?

Maybe it’s something ordinary such as cooking dinner for your family or crunching numbers. Or maybe it’s something identity-shaking such as going, full-time, to take the good news to the street people of Albania.

What good thing did God give you to do to build up His kingdom? God made each saint unique in their saintliness, after all. He gave each one of us our own story. So our call may involve a lot of self-sacrifice. It may be all joy. But you’ll know it’s you He’s calling because whether God comes to you with a mighty trumpet blast or by tiptoeing quietly into your life, He’s called you by name.

Rachel's Ah-hahs To Tweet:

Everyone’s Story: Visit with Rachel Phifer, author of LANGUAGE OF SPARROWS. #BookGiveaway (Tweet This)

Author Rachel Phifer: How do you know when God is calling you? (Tweet This)

Rachel Phifer challenges you: Do you think you’re special? (Tweet This)

Author's Bio:

As the daughter of missionaries, Rachel Phifer grew up in Malawi, South Africa and Kenya, and managed to attend eleven schools by the time she graduated from high school. Books, empty notebooks and cool pens were her most reliable friends as she moved from one place to another. She holds a B.A. in English and psychology, and lives in Houston with her family.

Places to connect with Rachel:

Website

Blog

Twitter

Facebook

Amazon

Pinterest

Laura Zera: Finding The Help To Thrive

Everyone's Story welcomes author and world traveler Laura Zera. When first approaching a prospective guest for this blog I emphasize that what I'm really looking to accomplish it to uplift a viewer's heart and offer hope. Laura achieves this with so much zest that I'm very touched and honored to host her this week and hope that you will be encouraged, whether you too have a relative or friend suffering from mental illness or in one way or another can relate. Laura is also a seasoned traveler. If you enjoy exploring other countries or even if you're the armchair traveler type, please check out her amazing giveaway book of her adventures in West Africa. Both Laura and I look forward to hearing from you.

Book Giveaway:
Laura is offering one e-version copy of her fascinating travelogue, TRO-TROS AND POTHOLES, WEST AFRICA: SOLO to one randomly chosen commenter. The winner will be announced here on Friday, March 28th, between 5-6 PM EST. For convenience, please leave your contact information within your comment. Thanks!

Here's a blurb on Laura's TRO-TROS AND POTHOLES:

Tro-tros and Potholes is truly a reading adventure, with the Internet playing a key role. At what other time in history could an explorer stay in almost instant touch with people all around the world? During four months of traveling in West Africa, Laura Enridge thrilled friends and family back home with her vivid stories, often written in "stinky internet cafés with sticky keyboards." Here, her unedited emails are mingled with more detailed memoirs to form a wonderful collection of human stories, written straight from the heart.



A keen observer, Enridge takes an interest in almost everyone she meets. Her colorful glimpses into daily life in West African cities and villages are captured on every page of this delightful book.

From Survive to Thrive by Laura Zera

It was several months ago when Elaine reached out to me about writing a piece for Everyone’s Story. She had come across my own blog, and realized we share a common history: our mothers both have/had schizophrenia. Elaine’s mother passed away from cancer at the age of 46. My mother is turning 79 this summer, and now has advanced dementia.

Neither Elaine nor I had an easy childhood. There was no secure and nurturing home environment. Rather, I grew up with danger and volatility, day in and day out. My mother’s behavior was confusing and unpredictable, her rage incendiary. It created hyper vigilance and anxiety in me. While other kids in my neighborhood could be precocious and carefree, I functioned to survive.

Survive. Endure. Live through. They’re words commonly used in relation to adversity. They’re marginal words, though. They leave us on the margins of a full and joyful life. And while surviving trauma is a triumph in and of itself, don’t we deserve more?

Thrive. Flourish. Contribute. Those are the words that shone like a lantern for me, even at age 15, when I left home and moved in with my older, and only, sibling. Even at age 23, when I estranged myself from my mother and hid for 17 years, nervous every time I turned down a new aisle in the grocery store. And now, at age 45, when I bring cans of cashews to her in the care home, and she has no recollection of anything, past or present.

I went to an event recently where much of what the speaker said resonated deeply with me. It was United States Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor on the stage (her own father battled alcoholism, and died from heart problems when she was nine; we really do all have a story). In talking about how she managed to accomplish all that she has and have such an impressive career, she said, “there’s no such thing as a self-made man,” (or woman).

Sotomayor was saying it in reference to her career—how she learned to study from the best students at school, and sought out mentors as a young lawyer, but it applies to everything. Education, love, family, fulfillment. Alone, we are limited, even self-defeating. With help, the sky’s the limit.

We get what we need, and build what we want to build, with the help of others.

It can come in different packages, this “help” thing. Some find it in their faith; for others, it’s available within their families. For me, it first appeared in the shape of a grandmotherly social worker, assigned to my case file when I was 16 and caught shoplifting. I thought for sure she was going to look at my tight jeans and heavy eyeliner and tell me to clean up my act. Instead, she listened without judgment.

I was forced into getting help, and as life-changing as my experience was, it took some years before I became comfortable asking for it. There were all kinds of things bundled in with that: I didn’t want to be a burden, I felt ashamed, I didn’t think of myself as worthy of the time and attention. My baby steps approach was to return to therapy, because my flawed reasoning told me that at least those people were getting paid to listen to me. Later, I started to lean more on the “volunteers,” the people who liked or loved me freely and without strings or monetary compensation. 

When I finally realized that we’re all in this whole shebang together, that our existence is connected at the level of humanity and beyond, it became easier. Not only was giving help an act for the greater good, so was seeking it! And while shame kept me in survival mode, reaching out allowed me to grow. It also allowed me to forgive my mother, and eventually, to embrace my history. Just like Elaine, I still have my dark times, but that lantern is always shining, reminding me that I’m not in it alone.

You’re not in it alone either! What or who have been the sources of your greatest support over the years?

Laura's Ah-hahs To Tweet:

Everyone has a story: author @LauraZera shares how to thrive with #schizophrenic parent. (Tweet This)

Laura Zera: Do you deserve more than just surviving a trauma? (Tweet This)

Like to read about #Africa? #BookGiveaway of author LauraZera’s Tro-tros and Potholes. (Tweet This)

Author's Bio:

Laura Zera is a freelance writer who has traveled to almost 60 countries and lived and worked in Cameroon, Canada, Israel, South Africa and the United States. She is currently working on her second book, a memoir about being raised by a mother with schizophrenia. Laura’s first book (written as Laura Enridge), 2004’s Tro-tros and Potholes, chronicles her solo adventures through five countries in West Africa. Her work can also be found in the anthology Write for the Fight: A Collection of Seasonal Essays, released in 2012 by Booktrope Publishing.

Originally from Vancouver, British Columbia, Laura lives in Seattle, Washington, where she can be found walking her pug, driving her Mini, or attending concerts with her photographer husband Francis Zera.

Places to connect with Laura:

Website

Twitter

Facebook

Amazon

Google Plus

Pinterest

Linkedin

***If you're interested in reading about my (Elaine's) experiences with my mother you can check out Part One, Part Two, and my Testimony.

 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 (NIV)