Kathi Macias: A Way To Extend Christmas

Everyone's Story fondly welcomes back author Kathi Macias. Kathi is a woman and writer of passion when it comes to causes that strikes all of our hearts. I'm honored to host Kathi for the 3rd time on this blog, and hope that you're as excited as I am to have Kathi back! Please check out the excerpt of the novel that Kathi is also offering as a BookGiveaway, and her suggestions on how to help make this Christmas a good one for some very special people who deserve our thanks. Both Kathi and I look forward to hearing from you!

BookGiveaway:

Kathi is offering 1 copy of RETURN TO CHRISTMAS to 1 randomly chosen commenter. The winner will be announced here on Friday, October 16th between 5-6 PM EST. To be entered in the Giveaway, please leave your contact information within your comment (you may choose to use the Contact Me form to privately send me your email address--the form is in the right-hand sidebar on the blog's main page, toward the bottom)

Prologue for RETURN TO CHRISTMAS:

Prologue

Return to Christmas

by

Kathi Macias

Prologue

            Sand. Why did there have to be so much sand? At times Chet Mason suspected it was in his food; other times he was certain of it.

            He glanced at his friend and fellow Marine, Todd Bishop, who stood less than fifty feet away. Their guard duty would end in less than an hour. Chet knew Todd would make a beeline for some chow; the guy was always hungry. After considering the very real possibility of sand in their food, however, Chet wasn’t so sure it was worth it. Besides, the lure of sleep was stronger. He’d been up for nearly thirty-six hours, and all he wanted now was some serious shut-eye.

            Todd must have felt Chet’s gaze, as he turned his head and offered a smile. “Hey, Sarge,” he teased, “don’t tell me we’ve been here so long that I’m starting to look good to you.”

            Chet chuckled. “Never happen, Bishop. Your ugly mug’s the reason they call us Jarheads.”

            Todd scarcely had time to shake his head and grin before a white-hot explosion rocked their world. The next thing Chet knew, he was face-down in the dirt, wondering if his ears had been blown off. He couldn’t hear a thing.

I’ll Be Home for Christmas by Kathi Macias

Home for Christmas. Isn’t that where we all want to be at that very special time of year? Yet there are thousands of men and women serving in our military who would consider it Christmas any time of year if they could just come back home.

Over the years, our support for our servicemen has run hot and cold, with our Vietnam vets receiving some of the worst treatment. But even today, when active military and veterans are applauded and appreciated, there are many who come home in body only—and often those bodies are damaged and changed forever. But the damage goes far beyond the physical.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) has been around for as long as there have been wars (or other extremely stressful situations). Until fairly recently, however, it wasn’t officially recognized as a distinct disorder. Instead we referred to vets coping with PTSD symptoms as having “shell-shock” or “battle fatigue.” We assumed that, with time, the symptoms would disappear and the vets would move on with their lives. We have since learned that isn’t always the case.

Today, when many members of our military serve multiple deployments, often in war zones, it is highly likely that a great number of them will come home with emotional issues. Not all those issues are severe enough to qualify as PTSD, but these brave men and women may need resources beyond those provided for them by the VA (Veterans’ Association).

One of the simplest ways I’ve found to encourage returning military or veterans is to make a point to thank them for their service. This is especially helpful with Vietnam vets who, for the most part, did not receive warm welcomes or words of gratitude when they returned.

Another means of helping our military is to get involved with an organization such as the USO (United Services Organization). This long-standing group has a proven track record of helping our military, and they offer various ways to get involved in giving that help (http://www.uso.org/?_ga=1.193589284.869043754.1440018522). Many local churches and Christian organizations also provide numerous ways to assist our military. An excellent Christian organization that ministers to vets and active military personnel is “Operation Heal Our Patriots,” a part of Franklin Graham’s Samaritan’s Purse ministries (http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/about-operation-heal-our-patriots/). Some of these opportunities are as simple as writing letters to lonely soldiers on the other side of the world, or packing and sending a box of treats to let a few sailors know how much they are appreciated.

Then, of course, there are the veterans’ homes and hospitals around the country who would welcome a group or an individual to come and cheer up these men and women who gave so much to protect and defend our country and its unique freedoms. If there is a veterans’ home or hospital in your area, there will certainly be a church or organization already visiting there on a regular basis. If not, perhaps you’re the one God will use to initiate such a ministry.

None of these methods of helping our active military and veterans is difficult or overly time-consuming, and they can be tailored to meet your abilities. It could be as little as a couple of hours per month, but those few hours can mean more to a hurting soldier or sailor than we could ever imagine.

Christmas is nearly upon us. Wouldn’t this be the perfect time to reach out to our present or former military personnel and welcome them “home for Christmas”? And because we know the Christ of Christmas, we can extend that Christmas welcome all year long.

Kathi's previous guest appearances on Everyone's Story:

Helping To Deliver God's Cry Against Evil
The "Easy Writer" Who Writes Heart-Grabbing Stories

Kathi's Ah-hahs To Tweet:

Everyone’s Story: Meet award-winning author Kathi Macias @alandkathi #BookGiveaway of new release (Tweet This)

Kathi Macias @alandkathi shares tips on how to help active #military & #vets this Christmas. (Tweet This)

Check out Kathi Macias’ @alandkathi newest novel, RETURN TO CHRISTMAS. #BookGiveaway. (Tweet This)

Authors' Bio:

Kathi Macias is an award-winning writer with more than 50 books to her credit. Her newest release, Return to Christmas, features a Marine who comes home from his second deployment with PTSD. The readers quickly discover that his wife and child are nearly as impacted by this disorder as is the Marine himself. Can his child’s friend, a three-year-old with his own bad memories, break through this man’s defensive wall to start the healing process?

Places to connect with Kathi:

Website

Twitter

Facebook

Pinterest

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Please note:

--I have a title change for my novel coming soon from Elk Lake Publishing: Always With You.

--I will soon launch a specially designed website that will incorporate Eveyone's Story blog. I hope you will follow me on this new site. When it goes live, I'll make the announcement!

Ján L. Frayne: Rising From The Ashes

Everyone's Story begins 2013 with a sensitive subject, but a necessary one. Ján L. Frayne, author of the memoir BEYOND SURVIVOR--Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse, and owner of a blog with over 2 million viewer hits, is visiting from Wales this week. Having to rise from the ashes of his abusive childhood, Ján is now reaching out to others to help them in their quest to leave the pain and anguish aside. Please join Ján as he shares with you his past and answers a few questions. See below for his special BookGiveaway offer. 

Book Giveaway:
In Ján's own words:
I would like to share some of my experiences with you. I will email an ebook version of "Beyond Survivor" to the first five people to comment to this story and to contact me stating so via my email, which can be found on my blog 

Beyond Surviving by Ján L. Frayne

My sincere thanks to Elaine for inviting me to guest on her amazing blog.

My name is Ján L. Frayne and I am a 45 yr old male survivor of childhood sexual abuse, emotional abuse and physical torture. This abuse was carried out against my person for over twelve years from before I was able to walk and ended in my early teens. The perpetrators were members of my family and their friends.

So severe was the abuse that my mind fractured at an early age and I developed P.T.S.D and D.I.D  (dissociative identity disorder). Most of my memories of those years were buried until almost two years ago. I always knew bad things had happened to me, I just didn't know how many and how severe.

I have never lived what most would consider a normal life. Though normality falls within quite a wide bracket, my life was most definitely outside that bracket. Depression had plagued me from an early age, feelings of not belonging or fitting in anywhere were common. I "lost time" frequently and suffered from many physical and emotional problems. Through all this time I wrote. Writing was my escape and was often the only way I could communicate.

I tried therapy on a couple of occasions, never with much success. The truth behind my problems remained buried. In the spring of 2011 I had a breakdown brought about by general stress and a failing business. To add insult to injury, my memories decided it was time to make themselves known to me again. I felt my world had been turned upside down, I honestly thought I was losing my mind. In early summer 2011 I was referred for sexual abuse counseling.

Unfortunately the waiting list is huge and I am still waiting to be seen. I decided to do something about my problems myself. I read, I ploughed through internet resources and I came across a male only group run by non offending survivors for non offending survivors. Very few support groups or agencies state that they will only help survivors that have not in turn become abusers. This was important to me. There are many myths surrounding male survivors which I hope to help shatter. One is the "vampire" myth. Many people think that if a male has been sexually abused he will go on to be an abuser himself (as in a vampire bite). In truth only a small percentage of abused men go on to become abusers. I spent a weekend on retreat with them, a weekend that changed my life. At this time I also started blogging about my experiences. 

My blog has become quite popular with over two million hits. I also started tweeting about my experiences and offering support and advice to other survivors. This reaching out, communicating my feelings and experiences to a wide audience helped me in so many ways. The responses I have had have lifted my soul. The support offered, the friendships forged have opened up my mind to the good that does exist in this world. Late in 2011 I decided to put together many of the poems and stories I had written since my teens into a book.

"Beyond Survivor – Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse" was self-published in March 2012. It is a collection of writings that takes the reader on a journey through my life. I am currently working on two other books. My autobiography and also a self help book for other male survivors. The response to "Beyond Survivor" has been very pleasing. I am very proud of it.

My life has turned around. Facing the demons of my past has finally freed me and enabled me to heal and become a more complete human being. The unwavering support of my wife and the connections I have made online have indeed allowed me to rise above the ashes of my past. The journey has not been easy but has been more than worthwhile. I encourage anyone who has been abused to seek help and to speak out. No journey will be the same and no course of therapy should be the same. We are all individuals, we all deserve to live happy and healthy lives. I have learnt much in the past year or so, maybe the most important thing is learning that I am able to be happy and deserve to be. Love is an amazing thing, the gift of love perhaps the most precious and priceless we can receive and bestow. I have learnt not only to like myself, but more importantly to love myself.

In the meantime I would like to share with you one poem from my book. A poem of hope and strength.

A New Dawn

My heart's empty hallways echo forlornly,

My eyes but broken windows to my soul,

Blinded by my own fractured self,

So that I would be ignorant to truth.

My flesh aching and writhing in remembrance,

Spirit disfigured and grounded with clipped wings,

Silent tears fall for an innocence long dead

But beneath the chaos a light flickers dimly.

From the all consuming madness comes hope,

A new tomorrow, a new dawn, a new hope,

Out of the ashes of a childhood destroyed,

I will rise, stand firm and be strong.

Questions for Ján:

Bless you for facing your demons of a troubled past and for reaching out to countless others who have suffered. Overcoming a difficult past is often done in steps, the first being the most difficult to make. Had you stumbled? How did you find the inner strength to stand up again and take that second step forward?

I've tried therapy a few times, and given up. This last time, when I was in full possession of the facts and my faculties has been different. I have been able to keep pushing forward, with an occasional stumble. It's only when I realised how badly my life had been affected that I had the strength and determination to keep going. Knowing how many were in the same situation as myself gave me added courage, I wanted to make a difference in my life and hopefully in others. 

Speaking of taking the steps to recovery, what advice can you share with viewers in taking that first step?

Do it for YOU! Be true to yourself and take whatever sized steps you are comfortable with. 

I too come from a difficult past, but on the emotional level rather than physical. I've chosen to "live with" my childhood ashes rather than bury them, but yet, try not to dwell upon them. Do you encourage one to bury one's ashes of childhoods gone sour or to "live with" one's ashes?

Ashes are ashes. They are part of your life. Burying them doesn't make them go away. Learn to accept them as a part of your past, a part that you now have left behind.  

Your wife sounds like the true sunshine in your life. What is her inner strength?

She is a very strong and determined lady. She is a fighter. She wants me to be the very best I can be and to experience life in all it's colours rather than living in grey shadows.

Viewers: Are you struggling with your own ashes?  

Author's Bio:

I am a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). I love words, written, spoken, and unspoken. For so many years my voice was not heard, I expressed myself through my writing. As soon as I was able to read and write, I immersed myself in books. I was able to escape through the writings of others and eventually through my own attempts. Writing enabled me to express the pain, and the shame, of what I experienced. It later helped me to cleanse myself, to heal through the medium of writing. I seem to have lived an early life surrounded by abuse of some sort. At a very early age, I was sexually abused by my grandfather. This went on for about twelve years. Others were invited to use me as they wished. There was also mental, emotional, and physical abuse from other family members. My body was almost broken, my mind fractured, but no one seemed to notice. I grew up thinking it was my fault, I deserved it. Male survivors live within a society where a stigma surrounds the abuse of boys. It took me a long time to find my voice, to be able to share the horrors that tormented me for over three decades. I hope my words help you to understand. 

You can find Ján at:

The Wounded Warrior Blog (which includes links for help on the subject of childhood sexual abuse)

Beyond Survivor on Amazon 

Follow on Twitter @Beyond_Survivor